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The Colonial Mentality Project Principal Investigator Biography Curriculum Vitae Research Assistant The Filipino American Population The Colonial Theory Images of the Filipino What is Colonial Mentality Mental Health Implications of Colonial Mentality The Colonial Mentality Scale Images of the Filipino: Manifest Destiny The Filipino Animal The Filipino Savage The Childish Filipino Filipinos' First Bath The White Man's Burden Kill Everyone Over Ten The Filipino Bugaboo Home |
The Psychological Study of Colonial Mentality Among Filipino Americans Expressed by a 37-year old Filipina American: "I find your research extremely fascinating. My father is Filipino-American. He was born in San Francisco, CA in 1932 (not the best time to be born in the U.S. when you don't fit in with the white majority.) I feel deeply saddened to say it, but my father was a victim of the "colonial mentality." My mother is English/Scottish/German ancestry. My English side goes as far back as the founding of Jamestown. I truly believe my father married my mother simply to improve his status in the U.S. and to produce the ideal "mestiza" child, namely me. I grew up with my father worshipping my "half white" status. Of course, as a teenager, I felt superior because of my mestiza look and bloodline. I grew up "ignoring" and sometimes "hating" my Filipino side, just as my father has done." "My father died over a year and half ago and my eyes opened up to the truth. My mother treated my father as a "house negro." He would do anything for her, even though she cheated on him and basically treated him like an errand boy. She would often brag to me how she could get him to do anything she wanted him to do. I haven't spoken to my mother since the funeral. I guess the point I'm trying to say here is I was deeply affected by my father's "colonial mentality." I, too, was caught up in the colonial mentality." "At the moment, I'm in an identity crisis, a war within myself. I feel "white guilt." I feel ashamed for being "half white." I feel horrible that my father hated himself so much for being Filipino. I feel like I'm half oppressed and half oppressor. It sucks to say the least." "Thank you so much for bringing the truth out, I really respect and admire you for that. If you need any help on your research, don't hesitate to call me or e-mail me." Expressed by a 19-year old Filipina American: "After I read your article on colonial mentality, I felt like I could connect a lot of the issues to my own personal experiences. For example, my parents chose not to teach me Tagalog. In high school, I chose to play sports just like my other ‘white friends’. I assimilated to the white culture more than my Filipino side in hopes of becoming more Americanized. The last thing I wanted to be labeled as was a fob. It was not like I was denying being Filipino, but rather wanting to do more Americanized things because that was what I was surrounded by, an American culture. But now that I look back on my past, I ask myself, why did I choose to assimilate myself so heavily among the American culture and what is so wrong with being Filipino?" Expressed by a 21-year old Filipina American: "I called my sister this week. We got into an argument, and I was winning. I guess to get back at me, she told me that I had an accent. This came out of nowhere. What a weird way to put someone down. Then, she proceeded to tell me to get “white friends.” I didn’t even know how to respond to this. I have friends of all colors. I didn’t get it. It made me really upset. I don’t think I have an accent. What difference does it make? Accent or not, I’m still the same person. How dare she suggest to me what kind of friends to have." Expressed by a 21-year old Filipino American: "I called my mom today and she was telling me a story about one of her friends, and she described her friend to have a “funny accent”. She later told me that her friend is Filipino. So I guess her perception of the Filipino accent is 'funny'. I was walking home with my friend and we were just talking, and then all of the sudden, I said something funny and my Filipino accent came out. She then called me a FOB. It sort of embarrassing since the word FOB has a negative connotation to it. I was hanging out with one of my friend’s group of friends and I was very annoyed by one of his friends because he was doing some funny things, but at the same time mocking the Filipino culture. He was mocking the way Filipino’s talked and just doing Filipino stereotypes. It was very upsetting, so I just left the room and hung out somewhere else. It’s so sad to know that even Filipinos make fun of other Filipinos, and it’s unfortunate to say that I think I participate in this type of situation. I don’t know how I feel about this. I think I’m somewhat confused, but I’m slowly realizing what I must do to make things better for EVERY Filipinos, not just Filipino-Americans who have assimilated to the American culture." Expressed by a 20-year old Filipina American: "This past weekend, I met a Filipina that had a strong accent. I immediately knew that she grew up and probably just came here from the Philippines just for college. As we were talking she mentioned 'Yeah, I’m from the Philippines.' In my head I said to myself 'Duh, I can tell.' Is it so bad to automatically point out who is a FOB? Also this past weekend, I took part in a group activity that involved Filipino stereotypes. Each person had a note card that they could not say that was labeled different stereotypes such as ghetto, dog eater, FOB, etc. Mine was FOB. When it was my turn to guess who I was my group mates said the following: 'Learn to speak English' and 'Go back to your homeland!' Do people really act this way? Is it right to bash on a FOB because they act differently or speak differently?" Expressed by a 21-year old Filipina American: "I went to the Bayanihan performance last week, and it was amazing. I was VERY excited. They were so fun to watch. Their costumes were beautiful, and their dances were very well choreographed. Even the sets and the lighting added to the mood and the stories. Their presentation of these various dances was really interesting because they all tied in together. I did notice something: none of the dancers were really brown. In the Igorot scene, the lighting made the dancers look darker and fierce. In all of the other dances, however, I noticed that every one of the dancers, male and female, were really light-skinned. Then, I remember the information that a lot of Filipinos prefer light skin. They think it’s beautiful. Even my mom would say so. She hates it when I get dark from being outside too much. I remember that she would say that I looked “ugly” because I was so dark…and it seems that many other moms feel that way too from hearing stories from other Filipino kids. I just think it’s a shame that Bayanihan is a world-renowned dance company, and even the National Philippine Dance Company, and they don’t represent all colors of a Filipino. It’s like they pick and choose to make their group more recognizable, or more marketable. Or more like an American dance company…" Expressed by a 19-year old Filipina American: "Reading your research/website presented me with larger amount of Filipino history in two hours than I have acquired in 19 years. Growing up my knowledge on Filipino history was limited with the only sources being family and friends, covering mostly social and cultural aspects. I was not taught any Filipino history unless it was the bare minimum in a high school history class, offering a trivial amount of information for the sake that the students at least acknowledged the Philippines exists. Any history I obtained I actively sought out. Even now, in college, I choose to be a part of taking some Filipino classes in hopes of catching up on the history I’ve been deprived of. Seeing that Filipino-Americans are a heavy minority population the amount of history taught in schools is very disproportional. It does upset me that we are not taught enough. My guess as to why this is is that historical events like the Filipino-American war did not display America at its most benevolent. In reality, when we learn about American history and their global relations, we are not presented with their ethical short-comings. Seeing that we are Americans, we apparently must hold the objective view that America is the “good guy” in it all. Seeing that historically the United States miseducated Filipinos, it is not a coincidence that we are not even being educated today. A similar historical example is Native Americans and their relations with the United States. I do feel that I’ve been taught a good amount of what “really” happened—the cheating, lies, abuse, and disrespect, victimizing the Native Americans. Native Americans suffered so greatly under the United States, and to this day some still do practice their culture the way their forefathers have. In the Philippines, I’m not sure if this is so. My mom refers to those seemingly uncivilized as the ‘people in the mountains’. Is ‘uncivilized’ synonymous with living as our ancestors did? I don’t like the idea that being ‘civilized’ requires adopting western norms, but Filipinos today unconsciously do it all the time. It is just seemed to be the right and proper way to live. It is a discomforting thought that the Filipino culture that I participate and even what my family generations past practiced is, to be historically accurate, not genuinely Filipino. The influence and seemingly permanent affects of our historical aggressors is what I actually consider to be Filipino culture. There is an intimidating amount of history the general Filipino-American is oblivious to. The mention of colonialism now only sends unsettling vibes to me. I have a difficult time expressing how I feel about this particular conspiracy as I know that I am very ill-educated about the matter. If Filipino-Americans are not aware of this and have no interest in educating themselves as of why their culture is the way it is, it will be lost in the past. I don’t feel that many Filipino-Americans are very interested in their historical culture. While I find this to be unfortunate and a bit shameful, I do partially blame our educational system structured by the government. My knowledge on the subject is dangerously limited, so much that I feel my opinions are not yet justifiable or mature. I want to be secure and certain about why I react the way I do before I feel I’m ready to take any action." Expressed by an African American male Doctoral Student: "Your article was right on time. I enjoyed it 'cause you succinctly captured a great deal of literature in the liberation psychology realm and applied it without flinching. It's going to be extremely helpful in my internship discussions where we have to find multiple ways of conveying very complex topics among a folks with diverse experiences and training. In short, some folks have colonial mentality and have been micro-aggressing all over the place. I think this article will put all that to rest. Really nice website too! Keep hurtin'em with the research! And continued success in your work! Congratulations!" Expressed by a 22-year old Filipino American: "The more I learn about colonialism, the more I feel like I want to shout it out on the top of a mountain for everyone – with willing ears or not, to hear. It just needs to be put out there. In retrospect, I lived in my own little ignorant world – saying yeah, we were owned by Spain before…not thinking that they had subjugated us to anything that we didn’t want. But in reality, our original identity was stripped from us…we fell victim to the perils of colonialism for Spain’s greed of gold, spices, easy access to more “valuable” areas like China or Japan, and the glory of religious sprawl. And we were made to thank them for it. I’ll be honest, though. When I first learned about Spanish colonization, I didn’t think it was a bad thing. I was like wow, cool they gave us Catholicism and Spanish-sounding last names…I’m glad I know why my last name is like that and not something more “indigenous”. I loved the old churches from 1500 in the Philippines – there was just so much history there. But now that I know more, sometimes it’s difficult to look at these things and/or places the same way. I am still glad to know where these things came from…and it still is cool to look at these old churches. But it seems like these memories have been tainted with the harsh realities of our (Filipino) history books. They aren’t revered as much in my heart as they once were. Instead of marveling in the inherent beauty of these places, I feel like I’m walking into a tomb of hidden secrets. And with Spain is where it all started. Denial is another thing that I just cannot look past. I even see it in Filipino Americans today in more day-to-day issues. And although these issues are much less “important” in the grand scheme of things, I can’t help but tie it to that grand scheme of our historical persecution. And I feel that is something that people today are just willing to 'let go.' How can you just let go of so many things? This isn’t even about one person wronging another (which people seem so eager to turn ignorant to)…it’s your entire people. Why has it become so popular to be so ignorant? I cannot help but think that it really is because so many Filipinos think that they just aren’t good enough. Does that mean that all the pressures from our parents to be doctors or lawyers is their attempt at making our people equals? That’s pathetic. And even if that were their goal, how many first generation Filipinos, etc. have already achieved that…but still have the same feelings of inherent inferiority because they are Filipino? In some instances, I am made to believe that Filipinos inherently bottle up their feelings because of our history...not because it’s a stereotypical Asian thing, but rather a learned response from years and years of practice…conditioning." Expressed by a 19-year old Filipina American: "I think I am still in the state of confusion, seeing that all the information I have been presented with was new and unexpected. The more I learn about how colonization has implications other than just historical I just get more confused and upset, but above all, wanting to know more. I feel like there is still a lot information that is vital I understand before I can confidently step out of my state of confusion. My confusion is not entirely reducing yet because I just keep leaning more and still have questions." Expressed by a 20-year old Filipina American: "Many of the topics discussed about Filipino history caught me by surprise. I never realized how much the Filipino’s were subjected to the cruelty and unfairness by other countries. It was like a whole other Holocaust, a 'cultural holocaust,' that no one knew about. It angered me because it seemed like the only reason it was not exposed was because they were the actions of the United States. Why is it that the United States can order the killings of innocent people and replace a group of people's culture and pay no consequence? Why is it that the United States seem to believe that they are higher than any other country in the world, therefore have the right to do whatever they choose? If it was any other country, the whole world would know, but since it was the United States, it was like they had the right to keep it undercover. Along the same lines, these are the same reasons why the United States thought they could take over the Philippines in the first place?" Expressed by a 21-year old White American female: "I was talking to a group of 7 Filipinos last week, and most of them said that their parents want them to marry a white person. All of them agreed that their parents would object to them dating or marrying an African American. I kind of wonder why that seems to be a common thing. Is it that in the process of assimilation, their parents inherited American prejudices? Sadly, I was not surprised to hear this, but I still think it’s unfortunate that many people view race as a hierarchy. Many minorities even perpetuate this by refusing to sympathize and work together with other minorities. Even some of those who recognize oppression and work to end injustice for their own interest group still do not work to help other groups at the same time." Expressed by a 20-year old Filipina American: “'Our parents have satisfied themselves in joining the silent majority.' This comes from a chapter by Fred Cordova. Once I read this it immediately reminded me of my family, specifically my parents. My parents have assimilated into the US so they wouldn’t be pointed out in society, so people wouldn’t confront them for their accent. I could never define my parents as activists because they take their lives in stride. They might be angered by a certain aspect of society, but they refuse to even confront what bothers them. They sit back and let things happen without ever making that change for the better." Expressed by a 19-year old Filipina American: "I had the chance this weekend to talk to my parents about colonialism in the Philippines. It was pretty much just me and my dad discussing it, my mom didn’t have too much to contribute—I guess my dad was just totally taking over the conversation. Our conversation started out with just general politics and current events. My dad is very much up to date with politics and current events; contrarily, I have low political interest and don’t really find the time to watch the news or read a newspaper. This being, my dad indefinitely defeated me in all aspects of debate. Hating to lose to my dad, I brought up the notion that America is trying to colonize Iraq, just as they did to the Philippines. “No they didn’t” my dad replied unhesitatingly, “America saved them.” I was at a loss of words—I didn’t expect that kind of reply at all. His main argument was that The United States was trying to protect us from Japan. He argued that America was and still is an active advocate for human rights and interaction by the United States was necessary to keep the Japanese at bay. Of course, I argued against this but I actually decided against mentioning colonial mentality because I thought it would be difficult to prove or even explain to my dad that he, or others, display it. My dad is very firm with his beliefs and I’m sure he wouldn’t follow me. The majority of my argument was the consequence reflected in the economic and psychological statistics of Filipinos today. It was here that my dad didn’t have much to say. My mom, however, did find them to be plausible but doubted that Filipinos have the highest rate of suicide amongst Asians. She did agree with me that the Philippines was colonized by America, saying that’s what she was taught in school. My dad disagreed and said that is not what they learned. I don’t doubt either of my parents’ reputability in academics for they were both college graduates and are reasonably knowledgeable and logical beings. My persistence in explaining how America oppressed and colonized Filipinos minimally fazed my dad. If I had my reading materials and political cartoons, I’m sure he would have opened his mind more. I am surprised in my dad’s doubt of malevolent colonization but I do think that with further explanation of facts he will start to break down his existing colonial mentality." Expressed by a 20-year old Filipina American: "As a young child, I kind of always knew I was different from the kids on my block just because of the type of environment I was immersed in. I was the only minority within my group of play mates. I was probably one out of the two or three Asians in my elementary school. Within my group of friends, I noticed that I was always spending time at their homes but never the other way around. However, on occasion, whenever my friends would come into my house they would always ask me weird questions like “What’s that smell?” or “What’s this?” and “What’s that?” while referring to the various Filipino decorations we would have in our house. As a child, I was embarrassed to have to explain to my friends what all those things meant. However, now that I look back on it, I ask myself “What’s the big deal?” Why does something so little and irrelevant to my friendships have to make me feel so embarrassed?" Expressed by a South Asian American University Professor: "I just finished reading your article on colonial mentality and felt moved to write to you. What a wonderful article! I had been pondering these issues with regard to South Asians for quite a while and so it was nice to see someone else interested in this general topic as it relates to psychological health of colonized peoples. I think there are a lot of commonalities (and differences) in the experiences of Filipino Americans and South Asian Americans -- so, it would be great to touch bases about these issues at some point." Expressed by a 22-year old White American female: "It seems like Americans have very little knowledge of Filipino American history or culture. However, I don’t think this is limited to just Filipino Americans, as our society’s prevalent individualistic attitude can sometimes beget ethnocentrism. We tend to learn about that which is directly relevant to us. I think that in general, Americans regard Filipino Americans the same as they regard any Asian group. This was pretty evident in listening to some of my Filipino friends’ experiences. There was an incident of someone coming up to a group of friends and “speaking” to them in mock Chinese, and another incident where someone came up and bowed to them (mocking an East Asian way of greeting). Many Asian groups in this country, including Filipino Americans, are just grouped in with East Asians because that’s what the limited coverage of Asians in the media shows us. Ideally, it would be nice if Americans in general were more aware of Filipino American history, if only as it pertains to America. I mean, it would be nice if Americans in general had a desire to know more about other cultures, but I feel that it is a necessity to at least have an accurate knowledge of our own history with other cultures, even if the American history with other cultures involves colonialism and subjugation. The truth should not be hidden. It would also be ideal (and this could probably be said for all minority cultures) if they could regard their culture as different but equally valuable. This would also be an ideal viewpoint for Filipino Americans to have about themselves." Expressed by an 18-year old Filipina American: "I know that I was never one of those who did the whole skin lightening thing, but my mom uses them though. But I never was fond of the sun. I didn’t like growing dark. Something that was light tan but not too dark. I don’t know. I just think I don’t look pretty really dark. I don’t know if it was the whole I want to be “white” thing. Could it have been? And I’ve always been sort of jealous of my mom’s lighter skin. And I’ve always sort of teased my brother for being darker than me. I don’t know why. So now I guess he has a complex about it. And I don’t remember how I teased my brother, I just did. I just did. And now he has a complex about it but whatever. Now he’s not so big on playing outside, enjoying the sun, etc. I think when I go to the Philippines, I’m going to make sure to lie out in the sun… or maybe not. I’m still… not big on the sweat… and ok, the getting too dark. Unless it’s at a beach, that I can do. But then I’d want to stay under a kubo-thing… but I don’t want to get burned! I guess I really dont want to be dark!" Expressed by a 21-year old Filipino American: "Although I had previously been exposed to these injustices in either previous classes or research, it never fails to intensely upset me. I can attribute the bulk of this feeling to my elementary education – which, sadly, did not contain any of the ‘Filipino facts’ that were presented in lecture. I felt as if a part of my educational foundation just collapsed below me – having to re-think and re-vamp the things that I was taught as a child. It seemed as if everything that Filipinos went through (e.g. Spanish colonization, U.S. colonization) was painless and benevolent. I thought that Catholicism was an inherent Filipino ‘thing’. As I do whenever I hear information like this, I began to think. Think about the all-important ‘why’. Why my parents never really exposed me to these injustices when they knew what Filipinos before them went through. Why there even was this secrecy behind authentic Filipino history. Why, why, why? And from there, I began to wonder if all these things were somehow related to why Filipinos were (at least explicitly) less ‘proud’ than other equivalent Asian ethnic groups. In some ways, after hearing all this information, I began to lose pride in myself (and my ethnic group) – uncovering the old wounds of my people and putting the burden to deal with it onto my shoulders. I wondered if that was the reason why Filipinos kept their mouths shut about our past – to save the youth from the pain…to ensure that they would never have to worry about the mental divide between the real truth and the American version of the truth. But in the end, I still blamed my parents…I blamed the school system…I blamed myself for not being more skeptical of the American truth. It left me bitter. Despite all the negative feelings, however, I still found the information a necessary pain. It kept me curious about everything else that I did not know about myself and being Filipino. It put me on a quest for more information – be it negative or positive. I just wanted more. I wanted to be able to rebut against the American mainstream off the top of my head with concrete facts. I wanted to be able to take my newfound knowledge and spread the word to other Filipinos who were just as ‘green’ as me before my ‘enlightenment’. I wanted people to feel the same burning emotions that ran through me when I found out my people were treated like animals or conned into submission by people who thought they were inherently superior to us.” Expressed by a 22-year old White American male: "I feel like the most important topic touched upon is identity – a key area in the realm of psychology. Identity becomes particularly salient, especially for Filipino Americans, who have to deal with the ‘crisis of colonialism.’ It’s difficult to be in a situation where one half of your identity has been denigrated by the other half. Denying one half of your identity can create a wide array of problems. It’s hard to imagine dealing with a situation like this. I don’t necessarily feel like the majority Western culture is really my own because I’m from areas that were oppressed by countries like England and Russia, but I don’t have the same sense of colonialism at all. So, I find it hard to relate to the idea personally. Not that I don’t find it abhorrent that Spain and America could victimize the Filipinos in the way they did, but there is just no way that I could possibly understand the feelings of oppression and cultural denial that Filipinos and Filipino Americans must feel. I do agree that finding a way to integrate both halves of the Filipino American identity is important though. Understanding life one way for all your life, and then learning new information shouldn’t cause a complete breakdown of the identity you once experienced, rather, it should be cause for a re-evaluation of your understanding. This would be useful with a breaking down of the old material which no longer fits into the schema and an integration of the new material. A lot of Filipinos may be struggling with the new material presented through here and rightfully so." Expressed by a 21-year old Filipina American: "I truly believe that you can’t just find your ethnic identity in one day, and it never really ends. We are always learning about who we are and discovering where we came from. Growing up, I knew that I was Filipino. I was definitely different from all of the other kids in my class. I grew up in a predominately White community. I wish I had known about Filipino culture and history back then. However, I don’t know if my parents would have wanted me to learn about my ethnicity at such a young age, especially since they were new immigrants and they wanted my sister and I to fit in. They didn’t even give us my mom’s maiden name as one of our middle names, which is customary with Filipinos. They were worried about teachers and peer mispronouncing our names. Now, in college, I’m beginning to immerse myself in all Filipino culture I can. But I can’t stop there. It is an ongoing process. Through the information your research has provided and presented on this site, I learned about the ugly histories of colonization and oppression. I was lost and confused. Lost because I had never heard of some of the facts presented here. Confused because the information started raising questions as to why we weren’t taught this in grade school/high school. All of this is helping me form a base ethnic identity. It transforms as we grow and learn, and if we can start the process earlier, we can help the younger generation of Filipinos take charge of who they are and make others aware of our true culture." Expressed by a 21-year old White American female: "I was unfamiliar with the so-called 'IMSCF' syndrome (I'm Spanish, Chinese, Filipino) that is supposedly a common way for many Filipinos to identify. I suppose it makes sense, when you consider the general ideas behind colonial mentality. They internalize that their own race is inferior. Since nobody wants to feel or be seen as inferior, this is one method of dealing with that. By adopting not only the culture but the race of the oppressors, the colonized may be trying to earn better treatment by the dominant group and feel less inferior in their own minds as well. An interesting statistic is that one article I read stated that, in regards to 'who actually is Spanish, Chinese, and Filipino,' 95% of the Filipino population is unmixed native Filipinos." Expressed by a 37-year old Filipina American: "I respect you even more after watching the "Speak Out" show on the Filipino Channel. I think the overall issue of colonial mentality or internalized racism needs to be fully addressed in the Filipino community, especially after watching the show. You mentioned on the show about the Filipino obsession with mestizas and the lighter skin tones (which is a prime example of self-hatred), but the issue just stopped there. I also noticed no one mentioned that the 'white majority' are the main culprits that used psychological warfare on the Filipinos both in the Philippines and in the U.S. Colonial mentality is like falling in love with your abuser and oppressor, as my beloved father had done. I think it's time for Filipinos to wake up from this imperialistic nightmare. From the first Spanish ship landing in the Philippines from the 1500s until now, Filipinos have been stripped of their identity and self-esteem with the 'white majority' on top. I think the Filipino soldiers during the Filipino-American War felt sick and tired of being dictated and controlled by one dominant white group. Anyway, I could go on and on." Expressed by a White American University Professor of Psychology: "Congratulations on your fine work on Colonial Mentality. It certainly does fit with (the idea of) psychotherapy as liberation--how can we liberate the colonial mind? But, your work carries me to a new place. How can we free the colonizers from their oppression of others, which ultimately is self- destructive to them who have the power? We should all keep in mind that the culturally encapsulated White minority also has a colonial mind, but that mind is the mind of the colonizer. I have not seen any specific writing on this concept, have you? Being of White majority, I sometimes find myself falling into the colonizer frame of reference. White folks (and others, particularly of upper class background around the world) are blinded by their own colonial mind. White privilege approaches the issue, but perhaps does not go far enough." "It’s bothersome to me that despite colonial mentality and 'Filipinos' coming up together so many times in internet searches (which to me makes it seem like there is a lot more information out there about it than I had originally expected), and despite the fact that they describe this 'condition' as being something serious and problematic, it still does not receive more immediate spotlight attention. And for that matter, why is it that despite having a unique 'problem' such as this, do Filipino Americans not receive the attention in the greater spectrum of psychology, pop culture, etc. that other Asian Americans do? Are Filipinos and non-Filipinos just really not ready to delve into issues like this? Is it something that will come with later generations? I really doubt that. So why is it that we are still acting so indifferent now when it seems like the inevitable for future generations of Filipino Americans is greater assimilation? I watched a video awhile back about this woman who went on a road trip to find out what it meant to be Asian American and she came across some Filipino women in Louisiana who were 8th generation Filipino Americans. To my dismay, they say, “we were Southerners first” and something about being American after that. To have the Filipino culture diluted so much to discount their identification with their own ethnicity was a tough pill to swallow. So why is it that more Filipino Americans nowadays do not see this as their eventual pitfall?" Expressed by a 20-year old Filipina American: "Because of the information I have learned about true Filipino history and how this has been hidden from Filipinos like me, I have had many 'cultural collisions' with my parents. I always find it hard to speak with my parents about Filipino history. Anything new I have learned I somewhat keep it to myself, because I am afraid my parents and I would argue and I would not be able to defend myself. I also found it interesting that many Filipinos today continue to inherit colonial mentality. I can totally see why; it’s partly due to how our parents and their parents, and their parents' parents, disapprove of tanning, or want their daughters to marry white." Expressed by a 21-year old White American female: "Some people do not want to accept colonial mentality or the fact that they might be affected by it. One of my Filipino friends mentioned that she brought up the ideas of colonial mentality and how America and Spain oppressed Filipinos with her father, only to have him dismiss them entirely. I’m sure part of that was that he has internalized oppression to some extent." Expressed by a 21-year old Filipino American: "Instead of being prideful and excited about my history and ethnicity, I cant. As I started learning much about the Filipino culture and their relationship with America, I began to realize how hard it is to walk around being a minority and with everyone else having preconceive notions about my own ethnicity: “dog eater”, “island people”, etc. It hurts." Expressed by a 22-year old White American male: "A few days ago I was talking with a group of 8 Filipino friends, and they mentioned some things that surprised me. The first thing is the stuff about skin whitening products. I had obviously heard about these types of things before, but I didn’t really think that they were as popular as they are among Filipinos. A couple of my friends mentioned relatives who used skin whitening products, and it sounded like they were extremely common in the Philippines. I’m just really surprised by the fact that so many people of the Filipino culture feel like it’s a necessity. Some other friends mentioned their parents being afraid of them becoming too dark in the sun, too, which I also found strange. However, I realized this is probably due to the fact that I definitely did not grow up in that kind of atmosphere. It seems like the fear of being dark-skinned is almost ordinary in Filipino culture, and no one seems to show much concern about where that fear originally comes from. I’m assuming it’s due to colonial mentality, but no one seems to really care why they feel that light skin is better, which I also find unsettling." Expressed by a 19-year old Filipina American: "After reading the information presented here, I realized that I could relate to a lot of it. At first, I felt angered when I learned about the losses associated with colonization. I had feelings of denial and shame when I learned about all the things that Filipinos lost. Before, I had no opinion about the Filipino community’s everyday use of the term “fob”. I never really took the time to analyze whether or not I was actually making someone feel offended by calling them a fob or even just using the word without actually labeling them. Now I have realized that the term “fob” has many negative connotations behind it, and people have forgotten its real meaning. In the past, I would have never thought of taking the time to reconnect with my past just to understand the present. I always figured that I am here today and that is all that matters. I never knew the importance of what is was to have knowledge beyond what my parents told me and what I learned from the textbooks in high school, but to really analyze the truths and separate them from the myths of Filipino history. It never occurred to me that without the knowledge of true Filipino history, I really would never know myself and where I came from." Expressed by a 22-year old White American female: "I don’t have a lot of experience with calling/being called a FOB. However, I have heard at least one person use that term to describe my dad’s wife. She is from Thailand, and has lived in the U.S. for several years now, although she still has a very heavy accent and is unfamiliar with a lot of American culture. Around the time that my dad was getting married, I was talking with a friend of mine (who is Caucasian) about her, and he said, “Wow, she’s fresh-off-the-boat, huh?” Sometimes, I find myself laughing (on the inside, of course) about some of the things she says (or rather, just how she says them). It’s not that I really think that she’s incapable; she is hardworking and successful. I feel really bad when I find myself thinking of her as less intelligent or something, because I know it’s not true." Expressed by a 20-year old Filipina American: "I asked my dad if he knew about the Battle of Manila Bay. Then, I proceeded to ask him if he knew it was a set up, that it was actually a "mock battle." He completely denied what I was telling him, saying that it was a real battle and asking me how it could be a set up. I tried to explain it to him, but he obviously had a stronger argument than mine so I did not know what else to say. So, I kind of thought I failed in my mission to convince my dad that the battle was a set up. Nevertheless, I think I showed my family more so this weekend than any other time, that I am interested in the Filipino culture and that I do have questions to ask." Expressed by a 21-year old White American male: "As far as the general white American population’s perceptions of Filipino Americans go, I think it’s just a perception of ignorance, however unintentional that may be. I think a lot of white Americans just don’t know or even live by Filipino Americans, and so they don’t know much about them. Not that it makes any sort of oppression or racism acceptable, but I just believe that a lot of people don’t even know anything about Filipino Americans, and most likely just lump them in with all other Asian American populations." Expressed by a Filipina American doctoral student: "I recently read your work on Colonial Mentality and was excited to hear about your testing of a Colonial Mentality scale. I believe that you have contributed a great deal to the dearth of knowledge about Filipino Americans, and your discussion is informing my work and my dissertation --especially my conceptualization of colonial mentality and how this may be manifested among Filipino Americans." Expressed by a 19-year old Filipina American: "I increasingly understand the implications of colonial mentality and its psychological effects on the Filipino community. In general, I realize how its historical context has evolved into a psychological issue as well. The effects of colonial mentality were not limited to its initial victims, rather those initial victims reflected their acquired feelings of inferiority in their interpersonal relationships. Holding values of their colonizers, the colonized bestows his or her family with this colonial mentality and these messages and values are passed on to further generations. Education about being colonized was watered down or didn’t even exist, perhaps in shame of what has happened to the colonized. These effects are reflected in the Filipino community today. Also, colonial mentality is such that the aggressor cannot be forgotten in their part of this. I experienced an instance of colonial mentality through the perspective of the colonizer my freshman year in college. It may be just an instance of ignorance and racism, but it’s a significant event nonetheless. A met my roommate’s friend one day and we were having a trivial conversation about where we were from, etc. I guess my appearance gives it away because he asked me if I was Filipino. I was impressed and we ended up talking about the Philippines, and he was surprisingly knowledgeable about the basic culture (language, geography etc.). I asked him how he knew so much, and he told me, with his eyes directed to the ground and not looking at me for some reason, his exact words being ‘Um, I hate to say it, but we’re well off, and our, uhh, butler is Filipino.’ Confused by the manner of his response, I thought to myself, what is he hating to say—that he is well off, or that his butler is Filipino? Was he ashamed to tell me that a fellow Filipino lives his life being his butler? Was he trying not to offend me? Regardless, being well off has nothing to do at all with your butler being Filipino. All he had to say was simply ‘My butler is Filipino’. The rest of his response, and how he said it, was unnecessary, pompous and condescending. I didn’t know how to react to him, but I was insanely pissed. Not knowing really what to say, I ended up with ‘Oh, so you’re butler is Filipino, that’s cool. You know, my mom and dad are Filipino too, and actually, they’re hard working. My parents—who are Filipino—are actually paying my way through college and are the reason why I’m here now.’ He didn’t even look at me when I was talking to him, he had a half smile with his eyes not even directed in my general direction. I knew he was uncomfortable, and I really wanted to hit him. To further justify his familiarity with Filipinos, for some reason he mentions that one of his aunts is Filipino. This was irrelevant so I just got up and walked back to my room. But this guy wasn’t done yet. He caught me as I reached the doorway, and in a serious tone said, ‘You know, the next time you go to the Philippines, we can help you out.’ HELP ME OUT WITH WHAT?! So I told him. ‘Actually we’ve got a house down there, but I appreciate your generosity.’ If my sarcasm wasn’t blatant enough I’m confident he got the point when I slammed the door. Why would he offer someone ‘help’ to someone to me, who he just met? Is it because he is ‘well-off’? Is it because I am Filipino? Is he so superior to me that it’s implied that because his butler is Filipino, that I need his assistance because I’m Filipino as well? This definitely takes the cake for my angriest moment of my freshman year. It bothers me just to think about it. Perhaps most disturbing, this guy represents the University as an elected chair in our Student Senate. I can’t believe this guy won. I can’t believe he holds a reputable position at our university. It infuriates me. His ignorance, cultural unawareness, and pomposity are definitely not things you want in a representative official." Expressed by a 21-year old Filipino American: "If we have to go back to the early stages, the development of civilization, it’s all about conquering, developing, and religion. Those three things are what advancement was about. Rulers wanted to develop their kingdoms and expand their territories. At the same time rule through the name of their god (eg: pharaohs, God, Zeus, etc). Now that I think about it, colonization is just a more modern version of this concept. Americans, or the conquerors do it or did it because this is the very foundation of their culture. This is the very establishment of their mind. They were brought up to believe they are superior." Expressed by a 21-year old Filipina American: "The phrase 'internalized oppression' seemed to jump out at me. It’s kind of like backwards thinking. Some people fight oppression while we choose to internalize it, which does have some proven consequences. Why don’t we fight it? Are we just soft? Then I saw 'Tolerance of Oppression.' Aha! It is true. I know my family is thankful to be here. They consider themselves lucky to have had the opportunity to come to America and raise their children here, where life is 'better.' I cannot remember a time when my parents said anything bad about the Americans. It’s really interesting to find that these feelings, or mentalities, are actually studied and a reality." Expressed by a 22-year old Filipino American: "At first I really thought the only root cause behind Filipino silence was more of a result of our ties to traditional/stereotypical Asian characteristics. But now, as I learn more about other folks experiencing different instances of oppression, discrimination, etc., I feel like this may not be as true as I once thought. Instead, I feel like yeah, culture really does play a factor. But at the same time, it would be foolish to not consider the impact of (traumatic) daily experiences that may drive a Filipino to silence. In my experience, despite these stereotypical ties to 'silent Asian' and my shyness, I felt the urge to speak out again the overt instances of discrimination that I went through growing up and throughout high school. And a lot of times, I feel like everything that happened to me early on was really boiling up…almost ready to explode in high school despite not going through this cultural self-revolution. And maybe I would’ve spoken out…maybe not. But I was definitely held back because I was scared into silence. A group of friends and I were hanging out by a 7-11 in high school when a car full of people kept driving by and harassing us…back and forth…back and forth. Of course we were all bothered by it. Of course it didn’t make any sense because we didn’t do anything wrong to them. But my friend spoke out. And the car stopped....a guy got out and beat him up pretty badly. For absolutely no reason. I didn’t get it…I didn’t get how just speaking your mind would get you hurt. Before all this, I knew that the insults and discrimination hurt…but I didn’t think it could really translate into a physical sense these days. It was mind-boggling. A part of me was really mad that these things could keep happening. A part of me was sad. But it all boiled down to the fact that I SHOULD keep my mouth shut. As if all those other factors weren’t reason enough, this was the icing on the cake. Despite the influence of American culture on me as a second generation Filipino American to speak my mind and be independent and stick up for what I believe in, it just wasn’t enough to overpower all the reality that I as a minority continue to face oppression. Besides, it was this American culture that got my friend hurt. How much credit should I be giving to 'them'? It was a really confusing moment for me. For the first time in my life, I was trying to identify with an Asian group…and this was where it left me? I ended up reverting back to my old crowd of mostly white kids and left my Filipino-ness behind yet again. Only until I had the courage to re-explore it again in college did I even come close to being Asian. And even further, it was only until now that I REALLY ever considered the impact of even that one event on the way that I viewed my silence and discrimination. I began to tolerate it so much more...not because I wanted to, but because I was scared of the consequences. It was scary. What’s worse is that although people may not have had the same exact experiences as me, they probably have undergone some sorts of discrimination…but are still silent about it. If we could only have a real dialogue about it…if we could just share…then maybe we could find even more ways to relate to each other…find more ways to unite and find our voice and perhaps more importantly, our identity as Filipino Americans…shed our 'invisible minority' status and let everyone know what it MEANS to be who we are." Expressed by a 20-year old Filipina American: "Upon visiting the Philippines I realized how modernized and americanized the society was; from the mega malls to the traffic to the businesses. It seems wrong to be too Americanized but it is also impossible to go back to what we used to be before colonization. Watching Filipino made movies many actors have white skin. Pop culture embraces looking American; which further effects Filipino society as a whole." Expressed by a 22-year old White American male: "Colonial mentality seems to be the ultimate form of oppression; an oppression so inclusive and all-encompassing that that oppression actually enters the inner realm of the oppressed. It seems that it is this oppression which singles out Filipino Americans from other Asian American groups. While undoubtedly other Asian American groups experienced racism and oppression in the United States, these groups didn’t have the experience of colonialism in their homeland, or a similar amount of colonial oppression in their histories. What makes colonial mentality such an ultimate force of oppression is its internalized nature. It’s horrifying to imagine that a group of people could experience such an awful extent of degradation and enforced inferiority as to actually believe that they are inferior to the dominant group. In the case of Filipino Americans, it seems as if the most important contributors to this are a lack of information about indigenous culture and colonial history, and the spread of Westernized standards into the Filipino culture. It seems that it is of utmost importance that Filipino Americans learn the truth about colonial mentality, the Philippines’ colonial history, and the oppression the Filipinos experienced. Some may argue that 'ignorance is bliss,' and that assimilation may be the best route. I completely disagree with this. It’s important that as Filipino Americans begin to formulate their identity (individual and collective) that they be aware of this information. Colonial mentality appears to be a huge cause for the problems that Filipino Americans experience – such startling facts as increased depression rates and drug use point to the fact that something is wrong, and clearly identity issues (most likely associated with acculturation and colonial mentality) need to be addressed. Breaking through colonial mentality should definitely be a huge focal point of the Filipino community, and that process must begin with the spread of the truth about the Philippines’ colonial past. Only then can a strong collective Filipino American identity develop." |
